Qatar will claim a first among Middle Eastern states with the promise of a white Christmas, to welcome the teams playing in the World Cup. The decision was ratified by the board of FIFA. They were initially sceptical, until the Qatar head of state Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani released a YouTube video in which he appeared wearing a curved jewel encrusted gold sword, clapped his hands three times and said "I command it!"
"After that, the deal was effectively clinched as far as we were concerned," Dyke told the BBC. "Our fans will have a terrific time, with first class male travellers allowed at least one ticket to watch floggings for "illicit sexual relations" and the possibility of a once in a lifetime attendance at an execution."
It's understood impact on games in the UK's Premiership season will be minimised by temporarily moving the cities of Manchester, Liverpool and London to the neighbouring island Sate of Bahrain, at the oil-wealthy one-party state's expense. Fans will be made to feel at home by the artificial snow turning to artificial slush, causing travel pandemonium on the transport system, which, say planners will be "just like Britan's" but even slower and dirtier.
Meanwhile massive airborne snow-producing machines the size of football pitches are to be invented by top Middle Eastern scientists, with work already planned to clone the remains of Bing Crosby.