A married man from Leeds, 33, has discovered that, quite unbeknownst to him, he and his wife have been 'feuding' for the last six days.
'To be honest,' he says, 'I don't know what to do. If I tell her I didn't even know, that will only exacerbate the situation. But I can't apologise without knowing what I've done; after six days she'll want a detailed power point presentation explaining just how much I was in the wrong, and I haven't a clue where to begin!'
'The thing is,' he continues, 'if I ask 'what have I done wrong?' that translates to her as me claiming I've done nothing wrong! And If I explain that I believe I've done something wrong, but I just want to understand what, that sounds condescending, or like I'm suggesting it's her fault for getting offended. I keep remembering things I've said over the last week which must've had some greater meaning in her head that I was oblivious of. It's not nice to think I've been so misunderstood. The problem most of the time is I never know what she's thinking. Or even worse, I do!'
'What usually happens,' he goes on to explain, 'is I'll say something totally awful, like 'the', and it'll annoy her so much she won't talk to me for forty minutes. Then, she'll do some theatrical soul searching, let out a big martyred sigh, and say she 'forgives me', which will annoy me so much that I won't talk to[i] her for forty minutes! And I guess, while it's not perfect, there's a routine there, and it's manageable. But this incident is a different kettle of fish. I mean, if I don't know when my own wife is mad at me, how can I go through a normal working day? I've been certain everyone's secretly pissed at me for something I can't even remember! And I want to just straight up ask them 'have I done something to offend you?', but I realise asking a stranger that question is probably just going to sound threatening. So what do I do?'