In a striking turn of events, the famously self-employed inventor and property mogul, God, has for the first time broken his silence about the meaning of his work. He explained that, contrary to the popular over-used joke, he did bestow unto his Ginger haired creations souls. However, this was in fact not an act of his trade-mark goodwill and kindness, but instead a cunning plot to have them all be damned. Famous ginger people included James Joyce, Queen Elisabeth I, and the ginger one from Girl's Aloud.
The basic science at play here, as God explains in lay man's terms, is that 'without a soul, one cannot be said to have failed to deserve access to heaven - much like one wouldn't chastise a wheelchair user for...wouldn't blame a...blame a blind person for not seeing a...seeing a...ahh fuck it, you know what I mean!' God rubbed his eyes in a world-wearied fashion. 'Anyway, so if you haven't failed to get into heaven you can't really be damned to hell, right? I mean, we're all about fairness here up here, ya know...?'
St.Peter, Heaven's famous social secretary, is on record as calling the ginger souls ordeal 'an administrative nightmare. People arrive up here and then feel genuinely hard done by when they realise. I must admit it appears a rather elaborate joke, but then again, I've seen what's behind the pearly gates, so I wouldn't want to talk about elaborate jokes...'
When questioned as to why create ginger people in first place if this was his only goal for them, God's lipped slipped into a sardonic smirk, and whispered 'So that we have time to dislike more accurately' before guffawing to himself loudly. This rather dark sense of humor is apparently a relatively new quality in our lord, some cohorts saying he's 'simply given up trying' and one in particular suggesting 'He's never been the same since the backlash to the whole death "design flaw" debacle'.
Perhaps then this is a new era for the great man. However, given the work his PR team have managed to fabricate for themselves, black humor seems a dangerous discipline for Our Father to be dabbling in. Comments from the members of the public we asked about the issue have ranged from 'That's awful!' and 'Oh my dayz, 'e never?!' to 'Fair enough...' and 'Would you mind? I'm trying to pee here...!'