People were dancing on the streets of Damascus or energetically dodging shrapnel depending on your perspective, at the onset of the US-Russian accord. As peace reigned, bombs rained and Syrians celebrated with traditional 'duck and cover', 'synchronised panic' and 'limb dispersal' motifs.
By agreeing to join the global Chemical Weapons Convention, Syrians can now focus on what they do best - dying. Now that over 25% of all hospitals are destroyed and most medical staff have fled with the other two million refugees, even those without combat experience will have the opportunity to die in a futile manner. With a tally of 100,000 fatalities, President Bashar al-Assad's knows his people have always preferred death by more conventional, photogenic and western funded methods.
As one UN Official said: 'It may seem like it has taken half a century to notice a dictatorship responsible for human rights abuses and chemical stockpiles but we've been very busy settling our parking fines with the state of New York. Obviously we could ask Syrians to also surrender their guns but that defeats the point of selling them to them in the first place. Your average Syrian is an uncomplicated chap, who when it comes to civil war is as happy as a pig in shit ...or what ever the halal equivalent is'.