My work has finally allowed me to come back to the UK (and to an internet connection that actually does something), so here goes with the result.
Hmmm, well I see Arthur has failed to get this week's productivity bonus which I think must go to Flugelbinder.
My two favourite submissions were:-
Midfield Diamond with 'Veterinary anaesthetist denies devil worship'
Charlie's Hat with 'Manuel actor admits to half a dozen affairs with satanists'
After due consideration (coin toss) I'm awarding the win to Charlies's Hat. Well done you.
p.s. Apparently 666°F is the oven temperature for roast beast.