Tian Tian has been accused of delivering drama queen demands as she lies in her enclosure awaiting the birth of her third cub. With little to do but watch daytime TV and surf the internet, she is aware of her celebrity status and plans to capitalise on it.
Frank Murphy, Head Keeper at Edinburgh Zoo, says she has become tetchy in recent days as doubts have arisen over whether she is actually pregnant. “She’s furious that these rumours are circulating and has compared herself to the Duchess of Cambridge who was also overdue. She’s very reluctant to go into labour until a full complement of photographers and journalists arrive at the gates of her enclosure.”
Tian Tian has also become enamoured with Kim Kardashian who recently gave birth to a baby boy. The panda has been researching the Daily Mail for details of her post-pregnancy diet as she is keen to get back into her jeans as soon as possible after the birth. Murphy claimed that she was furious at being unable to attend any of the events at the Edinburgh Festival and wants to be in superstar condition for the Hogmanay celebrations where she is expected to declare 2014 open.
Nicky Clarke and Ruby Hammer are on standby to pamper Tian Tian before her first post-natal appearance. Mario Testino has been booked to take her first photographs and she has insisted on full colour rather than the arty black and white prints which she usually favours.
Murphy denied claims that Yang Guang has suggested an appearance on The Jeremy Kyle Show to get a paternity test.