69-year-old Pat Clifton, known affectionately by millions as Postman Pat, is due to be sentenced next week for his role in one of the largest prescription drug trafficking operations in England, after the once-loved letterbox veteran was forced to seek an 'alternative source of income' when handed a notice of redundancy from his now former employer, Royal Mail.
Identified by Scotland Yard as a 'the ring's most ruthless delivery driver with unrivalled experience', the ex-postie was found to be responsible for introducing more than 150,000 oxycodone and other prescription pills 'worth more than £1.6 million' into the rural towns of Pencaster and Greendale, increasing local drug use by 'over 2,000%'.
The privatisation of Royal Mail, which bosses have confirmed will be completed in a 'matter of weeks', has left many postal workers facing the axe, and a recent report has suggested that many have already begun utilising their skills in delivery to excel in other, 'less acceptable' trades, including human trafficking and gun running. 'Delivery is an art, but it can be used for evil as well as good, as Pat is quickly proving', said Royal Mail boss, Moya Greene.
'I have bills to pay, just like you, you get me?', claimed Pat outside Wood Green Magistrates Court today. 'After hearing about the buyout and job cuts last year, I panicked and began intercepting Cash4Gold deliveries, just to build a nest egg to see me and Jess through retirement. The timing of this buyout took me by surprise, man, so I had to raise my game and take-on something with higher risk and bigger pay. What do they expect me to do? I was just using my abilities to pay the utilities'.