There was stunned silence at the Whitehouse press conference today as Barrack Obama took to the lectern, brandishing what he believed to be, Vladimir Putin's most secret weapon, an 18' inflatable pink phallus.
Shock and awe took on a whole new meaning as the world's media sat agog while the US No.1 waved the fake dong before them, calling to the Russian President, "Vlady my man, we know you're hiding a secret and we feel your pain, so there's no point in sitting on it any longer, it's time to come out."
Obama told reporters that the heavily veined pink tipped love missile was seized by US agents in a covert operation in Saint Petersburg, last week, although rumours are abound that Mr. Putin had simply left it on a big pouffe in his hotel room.
Meanwhile, eager to reaffirm his compatriotism to the US President, David Cameron said, "It's about time someone confronted him on this sensitive issue," and himself had this message for Putin, "Vlady dear boy, there's nothing wrong in having a penchant for the man sausage. It’s almost natural" he added, before saying, "Christ, that's the biggest bastard dildo I've ever seen."
However, desperate to dismiss Obama's claims and in a further attempt to portray his uber masculinity, Putin has responded in the way he does best, and today released a picture of himself grappling naked with a 25 stone wrestler named Ivan.