Three Wolverhampton grandmothers claim to be bringing 'tranquillity, peace and an end to that horrible scowling' by banishing demons from hundreds of teens in the West Midlands.
Octogenarians Ethel, Mildred and Sally say they discovered their powers of exorcism during a bingo session at their local church hall.
'An elderly gentleman started having what looked like a fit when he thought he'd won a box of Black Magic chocolates,'Ethel explained. 'Me and the girls went to help, put our hands on him and said a prayer and he immediately recovered. It was a miracle because he hadn't won the chocolates after all.'
Mildred said when she tried the same on her teenaged granddaughter who was 'throwing another one of her regular tantrums, it worked like a treat. Now our Ingrid, who was a little devil, is all sweetness and light. Yesterday she even offered to help carry my shopping and keep her feet off my sofa. It's the power of God at work.'
Exorcism expert Rev Fred Batley said that it was a known fact that many teenagers are possessed by demons and 'can be hell to live with'.
'A possessed teen will indulge in excessive scowling and sulking, often leading to violent tantrums,' Rev Batley said. 'He or she will also often complain of being bored and depressed and have an obsession with Harry Potter books and films.
'Listen for expressions like 'awesome', and especially 'Oh, my God' and 'wicked'.
'If your teenaged son or daughter is a pain in the arse in this way, they're probably possessed and you should call in the girls.'
The 'exorcist grannies' are now about to tour schools and youth clubs to demonstrate their powers. Education Secretary Michael Gove, himself no stranger to the occult, is said it be enthusiastic.
'It's amazing what you can achieve by shoving a big wooden cross in the face of a troublesome teen and telling them - for God's sake, fucking snap out of it,' said Ethel.