George Osborne has today blamed Tom Tom for the slow manner in which the economy has found a corner to turn.
"We had a road map from the offset" he said, clearly flustered as he restarted his Google maps, again.
"We knew we wanted to turn a corner and we even knew where the corner was, the trouble was we left the banks at the wheel and they put their faith in the piecemeal pontificating of an automated system. This took them passed the corner, then down a long downhill one way straight"
"Luckily, they ignored the road system at the end of the road and obeyed the increasingly agitated monotonous voice telling them to make a U Turn when they could"
"If only the Tory party had remained in the driving seat" said Osborne, "We would have made a U-turn quicker than you can say chemical weapons are bad"