“What’s the problem? I’ve only killed 700,000 of my country’s citizens so far” he asserted “and that was with conventional weapons supplied by both the East and West.”
“As soon as all opposition is crushed we will have rigged democratic elections, just like Zimbabwe and Russia. You have my word on that.”
Experts believe, as the US will be self-sufficient in fracking-produced oil for the forseeable future and will therefore have no need for Middle East oil, outdated weapons systems sales can only be maintained if hatred and suspicion between Middle East countries is stirred up to the max.
‘General’ Jim Cheeseburger said: “Keep those camel-fuckin’ A-rabs fighting each other - it’s real fun to watch them kicking the shit out of each other on tv.”
Mr Cheeseburger was later revealed to be serial killer Tommy Lynn Sells, who ‘only’ killed about 70-100.