The Duke of York Prince Andrew is facing a series of difficult questions under police caution today following his arrest in a dramatic police hunt that ended in his capture in the gardens of Buckingham Palace on Friday evening, sensationally unraveling a 'vast criminal empire'.
Speaking outside Scotland Yard headquarters, a police spokesman has confirmed that the latest attempted heist was centered around the theft of five paintings hanging in a Palace reception room, worth £2m collectively, and was foiled 'with moments to spare'. 'At 10.15pm on Friday the 6th of September, armed officers arrested and detained a 53-year-old male attempting to climb a drainpipe on the south wall of Buckingham Palace. The detainee has been confirmed as the Duke of York, Prince Andrew'.
Despite his highly visible public profile, the fifth in line to the throne has now also been linked to several high profile robberies, including the infamous Millennium Dome diamond heist of 2000, where it's now alleged that Prince Andrew escaped the scene via the Thames River on a speedboat. The police statement has also confirmed that a series of charitable endeavors may have been funded by his illegitimate activities, as a way of 'laundering his bad deeds'.
'It all started with small time bookie robberies in the early eighties', claimed an anonymous source close to the Palace. 'I believe the robberies are a way of ousting his frustration at slipping down the pecking order with every new addition to the family. It looks as though the arrival of little George could have pushed him over the edge, as well as into fifth place for the throne. Goodness knows what'll happen when Harry starts spreading his seed'.