Nigel McKenzie, 37, of Basingtoke Hospital, is taking the government to the Eurpoean Court of Justice over its failure to put signs on the top of every building in the country warning of the consequences of jumping from them.
Through a spokesman, Mr McKenzie said that the government had failed in its duty of care towards the citizens of the UK.
'Mr McKenzie has leapt off several buildings,' said the spokesman. 'And each time he has said that there was nothing to say that he could be seriously injured if he did so. Although now that he has no teeth and has broken his jaw in several places, it's difficult to tell exactly what he is saying.'
A spokeswoman for the Health and Safety Executive said in an iterview: 'You are not sitting on your chair correctly. You will get a twisted spine, headaches, bowed legs, a humped back and displaced hips. And it's your own stupid fault.
'Anyway, we fully support Mr McKenzie's action. It is appalling that the public should be put at risk in this way. We are also campaigning for compulsory signs on the front of cars warning people not to step in front of then while they are moving. We a confident that a huge sign in red letters stuck on the windscreen of every vehicle will have the desired effect, and will greatly reduce traffic accidents.'
A representative of the European Court of Justice said: 'Ha ha! We 'ave you now, Rosbifs! Now we are ze best friends of ze USA, we will drag you zrough ze courts over and over again! Allons enfants de la Patrie...!'
(Hat tip to Flugelbinder, who inspired this nonsense)