In what will come as a shock to fans of the Manchester based soap, and blessed relief to the husbands of fans of the long running er, ordeal; Coronation Street producers have announced that they will be seeking to shorten the time it takes for storylines to reach some sort of end.
"Normally, as with all soap operas, we try to pad out the excessive hours of prime time TV we are allocated with stories that in truth, could be over in a week" said a spokesman.
"For example, the currently dragged out story of Carl and the burning of the Rovers has been ongoing for what seems like 4 years. We appreciate that in real life, Police tend to actually carry out investigations and don't base all their assumptions on the opinions & gossip of nosy neighbours, like in the Tyrone & Kirsty saga"
And so, in a radical twist, a time limit of 2 weeks will be introduced, within which all stories must reach their conclusion.
"Besides..." Added Phil, "With the way it has been going, we don't know from one week to the next what cast members will still be available to continue in the show..."