Steve Ballmer, Chief Executive of Microsoft, announced today that Microsoft have bought Accrington Stanley FC for a reported $5.7 billion.
Ballmer made the announcement soon after it was revealed that Microsoft had bought Nokia's mobile phone business. After leaping around the stage in the approved manner of technology company Chief Execs, and being revived by an ambulance crew, Mr Ballmer said: 'We are delighted to say that after our brilliant investment in Nokia, we are now supporting a football team which dominates Europe and which is a recognised brand throughout the world. As you can see from the PowerPoint slide behind me, they are currently top of the English league, just like Microsoft!'
At that point he was interrupted by a junior minion, who muttered something about 'upside down'. Mr Ballmer looked at the screen and then at his laptop, before screaming 'Microsoft products are such f***ing sh*t! Give me Apple every time!'
Later, Bill Gates made a statement, saying: 'I tried to get through to Steve to tell him not to buy Accrington Stanley, but these Nokia phones are such rubbish!'