World Mourns Frost: Last Interviewer To Ask A Question, Then Shut Up and Listen
(6 posts) (4 voices)
Great! (and true)
I have for some time considered writing the transcript of a Jonathan Ross interview, along the lines of:
JR: Good evening, eveyone. Let me tell you what I've been doing recently [10 minutes of self-aggrandisement left out]. Now here's our first guest - The Queen!
(Enter The Queen)
JR: Now, your maj - you don't mind if I call you your maj do you? - or Liz, how about Liz, cos you're amongst friends here, well, I'm not sure about the 4 Poofs and a Piano, but then with Prince Andrew you must have had a bit of experience of poofs, eh! eh! Go on, you know you have! And I've heard that Charles likes the crown jewels polished if you get my meaning [drivels on non-stop for another quarter of an hour]. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Her Maj, Liz!
(Exit The Queen without having said a word...)
But I won't.
I would happily listen, each morning, to a figure of note talking about his/her area of expertise, without being harangued, every few seconds, by an interviewer. An aggressive interviewer and evasive interviewee generally cancel each other out, leaving just a couple of minutes of white noise...
John Humphrys: We have with us this morning some poor sod put up by the government as the ministers responsible are too cowardly to appear.
Poor sod: Good morning, John, I -
JH: Now you say it's a 'good' morning. But it's not for the govenment, is it?
PS: I just wanted to say that -
JH: But it's not you who should be saying, is it? It should be one of the ministers who have refused to come in and talk to us.
PS: Yes, but -
JH: The government has got this totally wrong, haven't they. They have broken all their promises, and now people are suffering as a result. Go on, admit you were wrong!
PS: No, the thing is -
JH: The thing is, you have consistently got it wrong!
PS: If I can just say -
JH: But you've been saying things for years, haven't you, without doing anything about it!
PS: I just wanted to tell you -
JH: You've had quite long enough, and you haven't -
PS: WILL YOU SHUT THE F*** UP!
PS: IF YOU WILL LISTEN FOR ONCE - I just wanted to say that I've brought some more coffee, and your next interviewee is outside.
"I have for some time considered writing the transcript of a Jonathan Ross interview ..."
Yeah, great - spot-on!
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