The Washington Post has revealed the financial breakdown of the CIA & NSA's 'black budget' but within that is a smaller, more explicit, 'blue budget'. A significant proportion of the $52.6bn set aside for counter-intelligence was spent on a month's subscription to 'Scatological Times', an inflatable Condoleezza Rice and holiday snaps of Vladimir Putin.
A slightly flustered White House spokesman explained: 'In the interest of national security it is sometimes necessary to monitor the population. This could involve simple wire taps, miniature shower-cams or spy-holes just above your bed. It is perhaps a little harder to explain why we spent quite so much on 'Japanese rope bondage'. 'watersports' and a 'life-size replica of Joe Biden'.
The CIA and the NSA insisted that these resources were vital in sabotaging enemy computer networks and might involve 'Edward Snowden, pantyhose and a goat'. The US public were particularly shocked by the extremity of the pornography relating to the three major parties; these included 'Kennedy snuff movies', the Tea Party 'tea-bagging' and futuristic images of Republicans 'voting for Hilary Clinton'.