The Special Relationship loyalty card scheme, which has proved so successful with Britain, is to be franchised to other european nations. The move comes as the loyalty card scheme with Britain yields diminishing returns and the US aims to widen its options by introducing competition. "Our research show there are plenty of other Euro panty waists who are equally desperate to put their sons and daughters on the world stage," said US Global Relationship Manager Nancy Pastrami.
Last night, after pledging to bomb Syria, France was awarded its inaugural stamp on a piece of paper shaped liked a business card.
Francoise Hollande, who won the stamp for pledging support for a moral boosting missile strike, was advised to 'keep this card in your wallet and don't lose it' by President Obama. If France collects just 9 more stamps, it gets to claim from a range of prizes, such as free mobile minutes, a Pizza or even an iPad.