The Government has just published a schedule for future world crises which will trigger the recall of parliament in order to allow MPs to plan their holidays better. Similar to the new “Forward Guidance” practice at the Bank of England, the Government believes this will eliminate the criticism they usually receive when recalls happen by planning them in advance.
Andrew Lansley, making the announcement, said “We already know where the big problems are going to be, so by scheduling world crises properly we can ensure that MPs receive less hostility from their families who previously have had to finish their holidays early before their tans are complete”.
The schedule in the short term includes:-
- early finish to the conference recess in October resulting from gastric abuse by Eric Pickles
- cancellation of the November recess due to the hostile takeover of Niger by Nigeria.
- early finish to the Christmas break when Iran is due to launch a missile attack against Iraq, Jordan or Israel, depending how much fuel they can manufacture.
Looking further ahead, countries such as North Korea and Somalia are hoping that their problems will also be taken seriously and considered for inclusion.
As a side effect, it is expected that all this focus on globally important events, even though we can’t do anything about them, will deflect attention from the fact that the UK economy is borked.