In an act of altruism, so typical of the Bank Of America, Merrill Lynch has purposely avoided employing minorities to shelter them from the trauma of a lengthy trial, acquittal and platinum coated redundancy. The BoA's 'wealth management division' may be guilty of institutional inequality but they have bravely prevented generations of disfranchised Americans from becoming corrupted by wealth, opportunity and decent dental cover.
'A day doesn't go by without one of us appearing in court for fraud, corruption or a subprime mortgage clusterf**k,' one Merrill Lynch executive explained. 'I couldn't get to sleep at night, in my gazillion dollar penthouse, if I let innocents get caught up in that kind of scandal'. In fact, African Americans are 80% less likely to be employed by Merrill Lynch compared to their white counterparts but are three times more likely to be seeing active military service. As one disgruntled employee said: 'It seems I'm qualified to defend my country but not to join in a collateralized debt obligation boondoggle!'
Fifty years after Martin Luther King's historic 'I Have a Dream' speech, Americans gathered at the Lincoln Memorial to salute the hope that 'that all men are created equal...'; just provided one fifth is equal to one, the $7.25 minimum wage is comparable to the average CEO salary of $7,000 an hour and that being shot by Syrians is better than a job on Wallstreet.