In an attempt to boost the ratings of his party, Labour Leader Ed Miliband vows to push through legislation which will make 'Dogging' legal, safe and enjoyable for the masses.
Using the Swiss model for 'Sex Drive-In's', the Labour Leader aims to remove the stigma of 'Dogging'. Mr Miliband said "Dogging is an important part of the UK and generates a staggering £23 million in revenue. What we need to do, is to decriminalise it and make it readily available."
A trial is to start in Epping Forest which is well known for 'Dogging'. A clearing is to be made with seating surrounding the area, similar to Roman amphitheatre's. A £1 entrance fee will be charged per 'Dogger' and £5 per car, whilst the elderly and disabled will receive a 10% concession upon proof of id. All revenue will go towards the upkeep of the park and the safe removal of the Jiz-infested tissues.
If Epping Forest proves a success, a national scheme will be rolled out with the aim of all UK residents being no further than a 20 minute drive from their nearest site.