There was an unusual display of political unity between UK political parties earlier this week. Cameron, Clegg and Milliband were all in agreement that the use of chemical weapons could not be ignored and that military action against Syria could be justified. A Coalition aide offered "We cannot possibly stand by and watch the atrocities unfolding in Syria. Horrific images of children dying due to probable use of banned chemical weapons cannot be allowed to continue." He then handed over to an expert spokesbastard to advise on the legal and military aspects.
"This is not at all like Iraq. There, we had to speculate about weapons of mass destruction as a justification for attack. In the case of Syria, we found them already. We all saw it on the telly and enough independent witnesses backed it up so we knew it wasn't photoshopped.
What we don't know for sure is who fired them, but right now we don't want to get overly focussed on details. We mainly need to look well-informed as we resolutely stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the US, firing cruise missiles at the weapons. Also, the Navy are bored and frustrated to have been left out of all the best bits of recent ops.
Disturbingly, one of our scientific advisors has pointed out that firing high explosives from stand-off into a load of chemical weapons can actually spread the joy too far. Worse, the security agency has advised that we could not rely on the Syrians to only televise members of the regime dying horribly in makeshift hospitals."
This gave us some pause for thought, though not so much. The game-changer has been compelling photographic evidence that Bashar al-Assad might actually be a meerkat. Imagine the public horror if we launched a load of missiles at the House of Meerkovo on prime-time television."
In a decisive move MPs have been recalled early to The House of Commons to have a serious debate as to whether Bashar looks more like Aleksandr or Sergei.
The US government has dismissed the need to wait, as the meerkats appear to have implausible russian accents which simply strengthens the case against Al-Assad. 'Simples' spat an aide.