Jose Mourinho has admitted that he has had problems in communicating with Wayne Rooney about a possible move to Chelsea.
At a press conference today, he said: 'One has attempted to request that Mr Rooney puts himself in a position where he is able to choose whether to remain at Manchester United, or to move to Chelsea.
'As far as one can recall, one's exact words were: "Do you want to stay at Manchester United, which is currently mismanaged by a loser who last managed Everton! Yes, Everton, graveyard of all losers! Or so you want to do the sensible thing and move to CHELSEA, which is managed by me, the Special One, who keeps winning everything. Is it Manchester United, or CHELSEA!?
'Mr Rooney's considered response was: "Wayne kick ball! Wayne get money! Wayne shag granny!"
'One has contacted an interpreter, who may be able to communicate more effectively with Mr Rooney. He will be bringing a baseball bat.'