Lo and behold, flashes lit the sky above the hospital and three wise men came bearing gifts for the new-born Prince.
The first to arrive, Miliband, brought a gift of a three-year-old apple tree, a sapling ready for planting, already bearing fruit. Now Uncle Harry could show his nephew how to make cider.
The second wise man, Cameron, decided to scare the shite out of the bairn and gave him a boxset of the wild and disturbing works of Roald Dahl.
Ever one to try and solve a looming problem, the third wise man, Clegg, saw many sleepless nights ahead for the new Royal parents, so he brought them some coffee.