President Obama has been widely criticised for not waving his magic wand to fix the Syrian crisis, after he ruled out the option during this mornings press conference.
Journalists pressed Obama for over 20 minutes, in a tense atmosphere at the White House, as to why the magic wand option was not 'even on the table' for possible American intervention in the middle east. Many from the press corp took to loudly shouting "but why" after the president repeatedly refused to consider the magic wand recourse.
The president explained to all present that he had made a solemn promise to "only use my magic powers for good" but that "even in a situation, like Syria, where I could easily fix everything with one expert flick of my wrist, small stabbing motions with my wand, and a few choice magic utterances such as Abbracabra or izzy whizzy let's get busy, whilst I could sort everything out, what the country and the world need to remember is that magic often has unknown unintended consequences".
When pressed on what such unknown consequences were Chief of Staff Denis McDonough curtly reminded the gathered reporters that such information was "highly classified" although wikileaks has previously reported on the time Obama used his magic wand to fix interest rates at 0.25% for three successive quarters only to later discover that this same small piece of wizardry had somehow given Madeleine Albright cloven hoofs and made her speak in Jamaican patois.
The president concluded the press conference by uncovering a shiney doller which had miraculously appeared from behind the ear of CNN's Jessica Yellin, hynotising a white rabbit to the amusement of all, and finally dissappearing in a flash of white smoke.