In fact, I think it's overtaken us and is fast disappearing into the distance.
Life is catching up with Newsbiscuit
(20 posts) (9 voices)
Linky no workee.
Thanks, just fixed it.
Typical Daily Mail story about a foreign body getting where it shouldn't be !
They even have their own little sidebar of things that have been found in bodies which we could enhance.
I fully believe their reason for publishing. Any suggestions that they published as a laugh would be silly !
The ultimate "Don't try this at home, folks":
"... foreign body insertions into the lower urinary tract ... tend[s] to occur 'during states of pathological masturbation, substance abuse and intoxication'."
_ _ _
One does not frequently encounter the phrase
"... they chose to publish the unusual case 'to create discussion among the medical fraternity given the great management challenge faced by the oddity and infrequency with which a fork is encountered in the penile urethra'."
so cherish the moment.
Oh come on - don't overreact. We've all done it! Only the other day, I tried to cram a full set of royal dalton soup dishes into an orifice.
Which orifice? And whose?
Which pattern - pre or post insertion?
I loved the doctors scratching their heads to come up with a grown up reason for publishing 'Christ, you gotta come and see this!'
A whole fork.
Some of us would be happy with a chopstick
They implied it was a 'sex act that went wrong'. Which is a bit unfair as the man seems to have achieved his ambition.
It was probably more a 'sex act that was not entirely advisable'
Still experimenting with sex at 70 years old.
Oh hold on, he's Australian.
Whenever I see these stories, I always picture the exact uh-oh moment when the perpetrator/victim realizes he will need help to get out of this one...
@Wrenfoe -- surely you are referring to Richard and the periwinkle pattern? Finally getting one over on Hyacinth?
Or is that "Periwinkie"?
"I loved the doctors scratching their heads to come up with a grown up reason for publishing 'Christ, you gotta come and see this!'"
Indeed, which is why I so admired the phrase they managed to come up with in their official statement.
I bet the radiographer has a framed copy of this X-ray at home.
_ _ _
Gives a whole new, authentic meaning to the exclamation "fork me!"
As an Australian he may have been seeking a less painful, pointless and humiliating alternative activity as a distraction from watching test cricket.
However if you check the orientation of the fork, it also gives a new meaning to the words "One Direction" although being Australian the patient might not have anticipated this inconvenient fact.
But why on Earth a fork? Sex education in Oz must be crap. Why not use a spoon, like any normal person?
A person extremly well known to me was a nurse in charge of an operating theatre in a busy London teaching hospital, some quarter of a century ago. Cases like the above were not uncommom, but the most exciting was a man who came in with a WWII vintage anti-aircraft shell helpfully lodged there by his partner, during a particularly experimental session of male bonding.
The surgeon took one look at it and said "I have no idea if that is live or not", evacuated the theatre and called the Bomb Squad (known locally as the "Bum Squad" forever after). They turned up post haste, confirmed that it had been "discharged" and the piece of military history was succesfully removed, with some pretty direct advice from the surgeon to the less than happy couple.
Whilst in A&E my acquaintance was constantly amazed by the number of men who did the Hoovering in the nude, and ran into trouble "on the stairs", forming an intimate association with the business end. The brush attachment was a particular favourite. On another occassion a man was delivered by ambulance attached to a gas oven by the bayonet fixing of the input gas pipe.
What a rich and varied species we are.
Does anyone else get excited by pretty young women wearing stockings?
'... The surgeon ... called to Bomb Squad (known locally as the "Bum Squad" forever after) ...'
Of course. The poor devils would never, ever live that down!
Such appliance-erotic or utensil-erotic (or even materiel-erotic) liaisons seem almost incomprehensible - until you compare them with some of the human (or near-human) partners some individuals choose to consort with. Confronted with a choice between sexual congress with, say, Ann Widdecombe or Janet Street-Porter on the one hand or ramming a barbed kitchen utensil into your penis as the alternative, many men might find the decision difficult.
@ Arthur: if you can tell that she is wearing stocking and not tights, yes.
Thanks, Titus. I was beginning to think I was a bit peculiar.
No worries, Arthur. I have a lady-friend who once expressed surprise that men were so excited by stockings. I had to explain to her that it wasn't the stocking which got them going, but the not-stocking bit at the top.
(I am pleased to be able to report that she frequently wears stocking when she particularly wants to attract my attention now. Result!)
You're right on, Titus, and the best sex for me was when I was a lad and managed to get my hand on it.
It amazes me that women don't seem to understand the attraction of stockings, and will kill passion by showing their knickers under heavily-reinforced tights, probably with the gusset half-way down the thighs and with a tear in it.
In France, it's easy to buy tights "sans demarcation", but not in the UK, and French ladies on the pull wear them with no knickers. Also, it's no coincidence that it was a French girlfriend who used to take her tights off second, after her shoes. (That is, when she wasn't wearing stockings and a basque).
I assume that Australian guy is finding a lot of people turning down his dinner invitations - nobody wants to catch genital warts off the cutlery.
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