David Cameron admitted that his days of stalking women were probably behind him because of his “phenomenally bad back”.
“I suffered a protruding disc while clambering up Brooks” said Cameron. “Rebekah was very nice about it and said it could happen to anybody, the disc thing that is.”
Cameron rejected suggestions that he had given up stalking women because of objections from morals campaigners, saying that stalking was one of the more defensible ways to approach women, as against, say, kidnapping or annoying Facebook messages.
“Stalking women often means crawling through their overgrown back gardens and then climbing up to their bedroom window – it’s really a younger man’s game” said Cameron. “I think I’ll just stick to looking at women on the internet, I must remember to ‘opt-in’.”
Cameron also revealed he had to give up water sports a few years ago.
“I was mad keen on Golden Showers, but a couple of near drownings put paid to that. I am still a keen spectator though.”
To emphasise his adventurous nature, Cameron mentioned that one of his favourite pictures is of him mounting a horse.
“God that horse was beautiful, I get hard just thinking about her, hang on, was it a him? Look I’m not gay like that Vladimir Putin, I’m just Dave the regular guy.”