Norfolk farming man Norman Fairchild discovered a groovy, disk-shaped object in a field of potatoes. ‘Took eye, dug up,’ he grunted. When examination by a group of audiophiles, sound engineers and hearing-aid salesmen proved beyond all reasonable doubt that the object was the world’s first recording of the human voice, Fairchild was left speechless.
‘Mud on slab, chicken wishbone groove,’ explained Professor Jock McOchlea. Playback of the disk-lump was achieved on Sunday when a new chicken wishbone became available. ‘Bird bone cutting-edge cave time,’ he added, connecting the lump via USB. ‘Listen up.’
‘I’m all ears,’ said Fairchild donning headphones to hear his ancestor speaking into a microphone improvised from discarded giblets over background clucking noises.
‘But did you catch what he said?’ asked local media men with strained ears. ‘Ug,’ replied Fairchild. ‘So tell us,’ they asked, ‘what did he say?’