@Squudge: Diana was a pain when she was alive.
Room 101 - what would you put in?
(46 posts) (25 voices)
Rude bus drivers
Sour milk that you only realise is sour after the first spoon of cornflakes
Cold-calling telephone spammers - but only after I had poached them lightly in boiling sulphuric acid for a few weeks.
Grown women who think it's somehow 'cute' to affect a little girl voice.
Bitterness. Only dark chocolate should be bitter, not people.
The sort of women who are all lovely and sweet when men are around, but are backstabbing bitches when it's just 'the girls'.
Large, organised 'girls' nights out', particularly themed hen nights. *Shudder*
People who feel that it's entirely acceptable to walk 3 or 4 abreast along a pavement forcing other pedestrians to either attempt to walk through walls to pass or to risk sudden death by stepping into the road.
People who stop suddenly while walking along causing a people-pile-up behind them.
Also includes those who block aisles in shops or pavements while they stand in the middle of it to have a chat with someone.
Actually, all other people. Can I just have the rest of the world (excluding family and friends, mostly) put into room 101?
I love Oxy's analogy of Romantic Fiction to girls is as porn is to boys.
Barbara Cartland and Hugh Hefner bumping into each other at a sexual exploitation conference.
The Mills and Boon lap-dancing club.
Top shelf Readers crotchet patterns.
Too many marvellous images there.
I thought this was supposed to be the things we'd hate to find in Room 101, but if it's the people we'd like to punish in Room 101 then I'll add the following (just a selection).
Council officers who plant traffic signs in the middle of narrow pavements, so pedestrians have to step into the traffic.
The tradesman who regularly fly-tips in my alley.
People who walk straight into me with my shopping while fiddling with their phones. I wait until they're just about to see my feet and then shout "Hello!" very loudly. It frightens the living daylights out of them and they glare at me as if I'm rude, until they realise that I'm not grinning sardonically for nothing.
The shopkeeper in Cornwall who held my ten-pound note up to the light, ostentatiously, both sides, then rubbed it all over with a special pen, both sides, put it under a special lamp, then made a point of feeling the texture extensively before putting it in the till, and then went ballistic when I held her fiver change up to the light.
All the other people who annoy me and that Ms B didn't mention.
Oh, yeah, and the management of the UK telecommunications providers and their regulatory bodies who think it's not their business to prevent nuisance calls coming in from overseas. They're a special case. They should all be made to publish their home phone numbers.
I'd also like to include a special mention for the Practice Manager of my GP's surgery, who regularly produces crappy booklets telling all the patients how wonderful his administration is.
He should be given an injection of some vomiting bug and made to lie on the floor of Room 101 with his head in a chamber pot while trying to use his own system to get medical attention.
I like the money story Arthur. I have a forgery identifying pen but would not concider using it in front of a customer. I'm a bit concerned thought that if it shows the note is a wrong'un by leaving a dark mark, I will find it harder to pass it off to someone else. Maybe I'll just use the pen in Tesco/Barclays to check my change. Thanks for an excellent idea.
"... the management of the UK telecommunications providers ... They're a special case. They should all be made to publish their home phone numbers."
Yesss! Brilliant idea.
@Titus - wasn't mourning the poor love. More wanting to stick the endless coverage and attendant mass hysteria into 101
Fair enough Squudge - you were quite right.
About the forgery identifying pen, BJ, what's the point of having it if you don't use it in front of the customer?
@ Arthur. You are quite right but if you check someone's money in front of them you look a right cnut and they will be insulted; so you don't check every note.
However, if you are handed a right dodgy looking £50 or Scotish £20* you can say, "Do you mind if just check this as there a few forgeries about." If it's a wrong'un you hand it back and say "Oh, bad luck. That's a forgery. Where did you get it?" To which the answer 99% of the time will be "The cash point".
If you are handed a huge wedge of notes by a Pikey looking chap you can fan them out, run the pen over the lot and remove the dodgy ones. This may well be every note other than the top and bottom ones. Luckily I never really get handed a huge wedge of notes by Pikey looking chaps because I sell wine and not horses.
* Scotch people tend to take exception to this so it's worth doing every time just to wind them up.
I don't suppose you'd oblige a fellow Biscuiteer with a couple of bottles of Armagnac and some of those nice cigars in exchange for an old Romanian pit pony, would you?
@JeniB - your list is EXCELLENT
I would add those women who get appointed as team leaders or project managers in mostly-male establishments who use their new 'authority' to covertly oppress the only other females within their orbit.
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