Noreth Korea's official press agency has confirmed that the country's leader Kim Jong Il scored three time to beat Brazil in their opening game of the 2010 World Cup.
The Central News Agency say despite western reports to the contrary, the Secretary of the Korean Workers Party scored his first in reply to Maicon's strike for Brazil, before hitting two magnificent 35 yard volleys.
"Our Supreme Leader confused the Brazilian team with his close control skills and was a constant threat all over the pitch thanks to his portable personal nuclear weapon." The agency confirmed.
North Korea's next game - against Portugal - is next Monday and the agency says over the next few days, Kim will fly back to Pyongyang to chair a meeting of the Party, carry out a military exercise near the disputed 38th parallel, before heading back to the team's base in South Africa.
The country's Central Bookmaking Agency are refusing to take any bets on North Korea winning the title on the 11th July, making Germany the second favourites at 100-1.