Hours after the egg throwing incident Ed Milliband appeared outside labour party headquarters. He emerged looking like almost a completely different man, with greying hair, prominent teeth, an older complexion before announcing to journalists that he had decided to switch from Judaism to Catholocism during his brief absence.
Milliband confirmed that the egg attack had 'Had a substantial impact' on him, and that in the aftermath of the incident his 'Hair turned grey' causing him to become even more anxious, all of which led to a substantial instant aging and the development of a more engaging voice.'
Journalists gathered outside labour party headquarters were also able to witness the installation of a new carpet for the leaders office, with the rolled-up old carpet being removed by a team of 10 bodybuilders, all of whom struggled with the weight and flexibility of the old carpet. Despite Milliband confirming that the old carpet would be disposed of in an environmentally friendly way, the team of bodybuilders was later photographed throwing the rolled-up carpet, now sporting large concrete blocks, into the River Thames.
Environment minister Richard Benyon criticised labour for disposing of the carpet in a reckless manner, and confirmed that Nick Clegg was also having a new carpet and 'The old one will be sent straight to an incinerator.'