This autumn, the BBC will launch a new series entitled Nick and Margaret Despise...
In it, Nick Hewitt and Margaret Mounford from The Apprentice will travel the country in a chauffeur-driven car, and will despise everyone they meet.
In the first episode, they will travel to the north-east of England to meet some people they can easily despise. Here's an extract:
Nick: So who are you?
Man: Wayy-up, bonny lad, ah'm Deev from Newcassle!
Nick: What's he saying?
Margaret: It appears to be a primitive form of English, I believe.
Nick: I despise you! Talk properly!
Man: Eh, bonny lad, yer a bit posh fer me, ye know. Ah says ah'm from Newcassle!
Nick: What's that?
Margaret: I believe he is saying he is from Newcastle.
Nick: Are you from Newcastle?
Man: That's right, bonny lad, ah'm from Newcassle.
Nick: NewcARSE-l, man, NewcARSE-l!
Margaret: I despise his accent.
Nick: I despise him altogether. Let's go back down south where they speak properly.
Margaret: Except for that jumped up twerp Sugar.
Both: I despise him!