A spokesman from Trading Standards has ordered the immediate ban of failure faced, zygote stains One Direction’s latest vacuous effort “Best Song Ever” on the grounds that the title is misleading to the point where people may stop and vomit in the streets upon hearing it even mentioned.
“The song labours under the misapprehension that it is the “Best Song Ever” which is clearly misleading as its total shit…in fact if anything it is the total opposite of the best song ever”
One Direction have just 48 hours to come up with a more accurate title, a few alternatives have been offered including; “Not Quite The Best Song Ever”, “The Worst Song Ever”, “The Shitist Song Ever”, “Not exactly what we were looking for but screw it we can’t let this gravy train die and our parents need the money song”.
Trading Standards said they expected complaints to grow if no action were taken.
“We have yet to receive a complaint but only because most people think One Direction are a government road safety campaign gone badly wrong…when they realise “god this is really happening”...they will soon be calling…either that or sticking broken glass in their ears and covering themselves with gasoline”.