Sir Paul McCartney today agreed with the report from The Prince's Trust which said that poor exams results leave young people with no ambition.
'It's a total downer,' he said. 'I really wish I'd worked harder and school and college, and got better exam results. Then I would have some sort of aim and purpose in life. As it is, I - oh just a sec, phone call. Hello? Yes, buy Rolls Royce - no, not the car, the company! Sorry, where was I? Oh yes, I was a real disappointment to my parents. When I went to see my dad in one of the houses I'd bought him when I was 23, he said that if I'd been a better student I could have made something of my life. I felt so ashamed.'
David Beckham was in full agreement. 'I tell my kids,' he squeaked. 'For heaven's sake, work hard at school! Don't be like me - I wasted my time kicking a ball around instead of getting good grades, and all I've got to show for it is a collection of houses round the world and more money than Germany. I hope my kids don't make the same mistake as me.'