Irate RBS shareholders watched on in horror on Sunday as former RBS CEO Fred Goodwin, who was recently stripped of his Knighthood after the banking group recorded the largest financial losses in corporate history, was announced as the latest Dragon on the hit BBC show Dragons' Den, and were 'not surprised' to see the disgraced ex-banker make a string of 'mind-boggling' investments on his first appearance.
Sitting beside a mountain of cash drawn from his taxpayer-funded pension, the new Dragon has already set a Den record by 'aimlessly investing' in every business idea proposed, including £150,000 in one entrepreneur, who claims he will 'take on' Levi Roots' hugely successful Reggae-Reggae Sauce product, with his invention of 'Cabbage-Cabbage Paste'.
Veteran Dragon Peter Jones has admitted he has been 'taken aback' by Goodwin's blasé approach to financial investment. 'He'll literally throw money at anything', said the telecommunications mogul. 'He's invested over four-million quid in the first episode, without the faintest idea where the money has gone. He paid £500,000 for 1% stake in a pet fish eyelash extensions product. I'm no marine biologist or anything, but I'm pretty sure fish don't even have eyelashes.'
One disgruntled RBS shareholder, who lost his life savings after RBS announced a £5.2bn loss with Goodwin at the helm, said he was 'gobsmacked' to see the former boss 'flaunting his cash' on the programme. 'Has the BBC gone absolutely bananas?' Said the now bankrupt father of six. 'Fred has had the cheek to offer me shares in one of the businesses he's invested in on the show, 'in recompense' for my heavy losses. Obviously I told him where to stick it; there's no way 'Marmite flavoured Condoms' will ever take off'.