Former BBC Radio 4 newsreader Charlotte Green will take up the role as the heavenly and divine voice next month where she will issue commandments from on high to her many followers.
The decision ends years of male domination of the role and has been welcomed by equalities campaigners. However, there is some concern that during moments of divine revelation, or the serious business of demanding sacrifices, she may break into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.
Green said, 'I am delighted to be offered this opportunity, and I am looking forward to speaking unto you. I hope everyone listens otherwise I shall be forced to strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, Viking, North Utsire, South Utsire, Forties, Cromarty.'