The recently-announced Doctor Whoworksweekends is get a re-designed TARDY, it was learned today.
Stephen Moffatt, the show's writer, said: 'Since we have found a new Doctor Whoworksweekends, we thought it only right to give him a machine to travel in. So now he gets around in the TARDY, which stands for Two billion AlReady Dead Yet. This is because the Doctor has to cover the whole universe, owing to the fact that no other doctor in the universe will work weekends, so he has several trillion patients in the past, present and future. Which generally means that by the time he gets there it's too late.
'Fortunately, his assistant, Junior Doctor Whohasn'tsleptforyears, is on hand to answer phone calls. So if someone rings up and says "I've got an attack of the Daleks", he can tell them to put some ointment on it. And when someone mentioned the Ood recently, he started drooling and shouting 'Food! I haven't eaten for months!'