The new Governor of the Bank of England, today set the interest rate for the next 3 years, then promptly went on holiday in his native Canada. He left a sign on his office door saying 'Back in 3 years'.
In Toronto, Mr Carney said to journalists: 'The British thought I was some dork from the Canadian backwoods who would just be pleasant to everyone while helping the UK get out of an economic hole.
'Well, let me tell you, buddy, that I may be Canadian but that doesn't make me an idiot. I couldn't believe it when I got offered the job to run the Bank of England! All you do is set interest rates and go on TV looking serious. The guy who ran it before me, the one who looks like Corporal Jones of Dad's Army, he said that each month I have to sit down with a bunch of losers and decide to keep the interest rate the same, and then go on the BBC to say talk some crap about hard economic times.
'So I thought "What the heck! Just set it for three years and job done!" So right now me and the family are going to Tim Hortons for some decent coffee and buns, and then I'm going to buy the damn place with my salary for the next three years.
'So long, suckers!'
A spokesman for George Osborne said 'Ah - I didn't think of that...'