Fitness giant XRsize Gyms are set to trial a revised layout of the male changing areas at their Port Solent location.
General manager Joe Swalley explained why this change was being mooted.
"After completing a strenuous work-out there is always a certain amount of trepidation when entering the communial shower areas, worries about body image, tattoos, etiquette etc : in short, how do I measure up ?"
"This can cause great distress and feelings of inadequacy : we have even had people coming to blows under the heads for 'lookin' funny at me'"
In an effort to diffuse the situation, XRsize are proposing that a number of graded shower areas will be provided, with the sweaty member being allocated access based on the generosity, or lack thereof, of their gentlemanly accoutrements.
Mr Swalley indicated that there had been some refinements on the original idea.
"Our initial thoughts were for a number of shower rooms that were graded Large, Extra-Large, Extra-Extra-Large and Python, but first returns showed this to be far more devisive and led to a number of extremely vehement complaints : we have now reverted to a far simpler colour coding scheme based on shades of pink"
To spare customer embarrassment, a discrete measuring and weighing service will now be offered by Hannah (36-24-38) and/or Deryck (Anaconda) to determine the appropriate schlong category.
"It's all about making the gym experience more pleasant from start to finish" concluded Mr Swalley (Babies arm holding an apple (unconfirmed))
If this trial is successful, this organ-sized banding of showers could be rolled out across the rest of the group in the new year.