Militant Islamist organisation Al-Qaeda have claimed that the time consuming process of radicalising its new recruits 'is a thing of the past', following the unveiling of the world's first 'test tube terrorist'. In a glitzy promotional event held in the Taliban stronghold of Kapisa, Al-Qaeda scientists unveiled their subject, nicknamed 'Timmy the Terrorist', to a crowd of impressed terror group leaders, who have already placed large orders.
The pioneering scientist who first began growing Timmy the Terrorist last year, claims to have isolated the gene responsible for 'anarchy and destruction' from the genome of a deceased terrorist, and linked it with the altered DNA of a gorilla, to successfully grow the 'perfect terrorist', capable of carrying out any task without hindering the operation with complaints of 'not wanting to be blown up'.
'It takes ages to radicalise a new recruit', said one delighted Taliban leader. 'Now I can just pre-order a ready-to-go fearless terrorist with just one phone call'.