June's Writer of the Month award was won by SuburbanDad for his story 'Sodor abandoned as self-aware steam trains finally take over'. This dystopian vision was June's most-read story, targeting that well-known crossover market comprising lovers of both satire and Thomas The Tank Engine, and is a well-deserved reward for an excellent longtime contributor.
Congratulations also to June's runners-up: Andrew Alexander ('Justice 'overrated', claims Justice Secretary'), jamsieoconnor ('17% of children 'just f***ing stupid''), sydalg ('Blair's affair with Murdoch wrecked my marriage, says Wendi Deng') and Suki ('Passenger averts plane crash after reading motivational quote on Facebook').
The winner of the July award goes to a consortium led by NewBiscuit for their collaboration 'HS2 abandoned in favour of rebuilding Birmingham 10 minutes closer to London'. This story proved particularly popular among NewsBiscuit's Ox and Bucks set, and residents of Birmingham who thought it may have been real. The writers each win a ride on the inaugural journey of HS2, should any of them still be alive to enjoy it.
July's runners-up were sydalg again ('MP warns against danger of children downloading e-cigarettes from internet'), The Paper Ostrich ('PM unveils curbs on 'exploitative, downgrading, irritating' royal baby coverage'), Ludicity for an old archive piece ('Virginia Wade admits 'I never won Wimbledon in 1977'') and red for his thoroughly enlightening 'Kate 'Kate Kate''.
Many thanks for all of your excellent contributions of late. The delay in the June announcement was caused by a recount and the presence of international observers. If anyone has any concerns about the outcomes of these ballots, please submit them in writing to a Mr. R. Mugabe of Harare.