Shamed X-Factor chief Simon Cowell was left facing difficult questions today, after details of a bizarre and sordid affair with himself were revealed by now ex-lover Lauren Silverman, who claims the TV producer took himself on several secret luxury holidays, 'wined and dined himself' in top London restaurants and had regularly booked single rooms in 5* hotels, before cruelly ending his relationship with Silverman by telling her 'it's not you, it's me. Literally'.
The unusual case of 'erotic narcissism', which Cowell claims he stopped when he met ex-fiancee Mezhgan Hussainy, was 're-ignited' several months ago, following the 53-year-old's chance encounter with a mirror in his eight-million pound LA retreat. 'My eyes met me from across the room', said Cowell. 'I tried to pull myself away, but I knew it was too late. I'd fallen for myself once again. I'm sorry'
US socialite Silverman has claimed that she once secretly witnessed the multi-millionaire TV personality giving himself a full 'X-Factor style judgement' of his own body in front of a full-length mirror. 'He knew I was in the house, that was the sick part'. Sobbed Silverman. 'He'd rub himself down in oil and declare, out loud, that "Simon has serious talent", before bizarrely telling his own backside that he was "impressed" and that he was putting it through to "booty camp", I hope he and himself will be happy together. They deserve eachother'.
Cowell also admitted to several 'one-handed-romps' aboard his five-million-pound yacht he named 'Simon', whilst on a lone trip to Monaco last month. 'I realise I've hurt a lot of people, but this is between me, myself and I', said the love rat. 'I would respect some privacy over this matter. I don't mean for good, just for five or six minutes here and there'.