During an appearance at Dunstable Crown Court a man accused of serial murder, abduction, child abuse and multiple counts of rape - in common parlance a monster - today announced to the jury that he isn't really a monster and that it's actually everybody else's fault.
"I am not a monster," the monster announced from the dock as he gnawed on a human thigh bone and partook of an act of self abuse too explicit to describe here.
"It wasn't me - it was them. Their lack of compassion compelled me to commit these atrocities. Those women begged for decapitation and the kids thrived on being systematically starved into oblivion. They were all gagging for it. All I can do is beg for your understanding, empathy, general humanity and a not guilty verdict. It's what all of the deceased would have wanted."
Not so, according to prosecutors.
"That's just bullshit!" said Hazel Greenspan QC. "You murdered fourteen women and kept a further five as your own personal sex slaves for over ten years. I put it to you that the five were children when you abducted them. To imply that they were 'gagging for it' is simply delusional."
"What do you know anyway?" the monster sneered. "I'll be out in a week. And those women pleaded to be decapitated and disembowelled. And not all those babies were mine."
The case continues tomorrow.