Following his success in the recent Zimbabwean elections, President Robert Mugabe has been invited to meet David Cameron at 10 Downing Street to discuss election tactics.
"Advice from Mr. Mugabe would be highly beneficial to the UK," said a number 10 spokesman, "as success by the Conservative Party in the 2015 elections is clearly extremely important in order to continue this government's economic benefits to the country. Mr. Mugabe has demonstrated great skill in winning so many elections and it is clear that we have a great deal to learn from him.
"Not only that, but there would be enormous economic benefits in adopting some of Mr. Mugabe's ideas. For example, a few adjustments to the electoral roll would undoubtedly mean less time would have to be spent in counting votes that are already known to be in favour of the Conservative Party, with a consequent saving on costs. And, of course, the extra housing that would need to be built to accommodate our new voters would mean extra jobs and an important stimulus for the UK economy, and even greater benefits could be gained by then selling them off cheap to somebody else."
It has been reported that the invitation to Mr. Mugabe has received the support of the Housebuilders Confederation who will be funding his forthcoming visit. It is understood that the Confederation has close links with the Zimbabwean Hovelbuilders Association, and is examining the possibility of introducing newly learned modern high speed "mudhut no-infrastructure" technology into this country.
"This further demonstrates the economic benefits of links with Zimbabwe," said the spokesman, "and we hope the UK will benefit from introducing Mr. Mugabe's modern ideas on land ownership reform and the robust control of immigration in this country."