The pioneering scientist who created Dolly the Sheep has outlined how cells taken from the late Margaret Thatcher might one day help resurrect the controversial ex-Prime Minister, to the dismay of pretty much everybody north of Birmingham.
Although only in its theoretical stage, the proposed experiment, said to be 'heavily backed' by chancellor George Osborne, has caused widespread panic across much of the north, with some calling it a 'Jurassic Park-type misadventure just waiting to happen'.
With protesters already beginning to gather outside the Roslin Institute in Scotland, where Wilmut and his team of scientists have proposed to carry out the experiment, Labour MP for Edinburgh East Sheila Gilmore, carrying a zombie-Thatcher effigy, has called for calm, shouting; 'if something can die once, it can die again'.
Carrying a large tranquilliser gun, one protester, who is 'fearful' at the prospect of a zombie-hybrid version of the ex-Conservative leader, said: 'Remember that bit in Jurassic Park, when they break into the research lab and that baby T-rex starts hatching out of the egg? That's what's going on in there, and worse. They can only keep her in electrified enclosures and feed her cows in harnesses for so long - she'll escape eventually, and it'll be the working men of the north who'll be left picking up the pieces'.
In response to the widespread panic, embryologist professor Wilmut said: 'Naturally we have approached this idea with a lot of caution. But people need to realise that the beauty of this procedure is that we're able to pick and choose the particular characteristics and orientations of the person. For example, If someone was stubborn and cruel in previous life, we can make them easy-going and caring in the next. But that being said, I'm a staunch Conservative, so I have absolutely no intention of changing anything'.