British scientists have claimed that the method used to calculate absolutely everything may be wrong.
The universe is chock-a-block with planets, stars, asteroids and gas - but despite obvious overcrowding (added to by satellites, sputniks, space shuttles and Russian monkeys) this accounts for just four per cent of the cosmos.
The rest is thought to be made up of mysterious dark matter and dark energy - akin to scorched custard. This custard gets everywhere and powers the expansion of the universe.
Physicists at Durham University now claim the calculations on which the size of the universe is based could be half-baked.
This raises the frankly unbelievable possibility that the “custard side” of the cosmos does not exist.
Dr Robert Massey of the Royal Astronomical Society, said: “This would challenge assumptions about the long term future of custard, because the assumption at the moment is that univeral custard is expanding like nothing on earth and if it isn’t that would be a huge shock."
Shares in Ambrosia and Birds fell to an all time low.