After surprising the world with his relaxed views on homosexuality, Pope Francis has stepped-up his attempts to modernise the Catholic Church by enlisting the services of eccentric style-guru Gok Wan, in a bid to 'gay-up' the Church's hierarchy. Arriving at Rome's Ciampino Airport, Gok, who will be filming the biblical-makeover for a LivingTV special, has been escorted to the Vatican, and is already 'working his magic' on his religious subjects, who, according to the fashion consultant, 'are so fifteenth century'.
'There's absolutely no reason why a bishop or priest can't look divine and fine', said Gok. 'These guys have been in some kind of fashion coma for about five centuries, so I'm here to wake them up and tell them that religion can be sexy. They'll be preaching the word of Gok in no time'
In a fashion practice known as 'Facing the Flab', Gok will instruct his subjects, including the Pope himself, to form a large circle, strip naked and stare into full-length mirrors until they have 'accepted their body shapes'. 'Once we've ditched those nasty floor-length robes, we can get to the root of the problem', added the flamboyant stylist.
The Pope, who has ditched his 'cumbersome' ceremonial headdress and replaced it with a camouflaged beanie, says his followers were 'apprehensive' at first, but have since really taken to the wisdom of Gok. 'The guys are looking fab', said the leader of the Catholic faith. 'I feel like my plans to modernise the Church are really coming together'. However, the Pope later added that he is 'still to be convinced' that leopard-print loincloths are 'all the rage'.
One delighted bishop said: 'I'm finally getting in touch with my true self. Gok has taught me that long and drab garments are "all well and good" in a prayer room setting, but if I want to make a real splash on the weekends, I should try a lime coloured suit and a Burberry baseball jacket with my clerical collar. I finally have the confidence to look religious and sexy'.