Following the announcement of measures to restrict free access to internet pornography, the Home Office has confirmed that from 2014, all real life genitals will be pixelated and owners required to 'opt-in' in order to see their unscrambled genitals.
The government has been moved to act after opinion polls found that around 85% of the general public are wholly against or mostly against child sexual exploitation. A recent hard hitting tabloid editorial called upon them to do "literally anything" to make it seem like things were okay.
A source close to the heart of government said "We haven't thought too much about how this will work in practice but we want to send a strong message to female voters in marginal seats that we understand whatever it is they're banging on about."
The source confirmed that the government are looking at extending the policy to cover "bottoms and chest jellies as well".