Motoring journalist and Top Gear presenter James May is said to be 'fearful' for his job today, after Thames Valley Police clocked the TV star driving at speeds 'in excess of 160mph' on the M4, between Reading and Newbury, before turning off at junction 9 and proceeding to speed through a 30mph zone at over 80mph, screaming 'COME ONNNNN'.
May, ironically nicknamed 'Captain Slow' on the world's most watched factual television programme, admitted that he only realised he was being pursued by thirteen squad cars and two traffic helicopters when he pulled into a Shell petrol station in his Ferrari F430, 'to buy more energy drinks'. The long haired science enthusiast was immediately wrestled to the ground by officers, who had assumed his 'reckless speed' and refusal to stop was an attempt to flee the scene of a heinous crime.
Michael Perez, who was heading home on the M4 after an evening shift, said it was him who had alerted the police, after claiming he 'feared for his life' sharing the same motorway lane with the Top Gear star. 'I'd just merged onto the M4 and moved into the fast lane to overtake a Nissan Micra. I glanced in my rear-view mirror and saw a silver Ferrari approaching from the rear at speeds I didn't even know were possible. I only had a split second to throw my car into the middle lane to safety. I couldn't believe the audacity of the guy; he was hanging his head out of the window with his tongue out like a dog, screaming 'MOVEEEE ITTTT'.
Judge Lord Matthews, who handed the 50-year-old presenter an 18-month driving ban at Reading Crown Court, said that, in a usual speeding case, he would be willing to take into account the 'impact' the loss of a driving license could have on the defendants professional life, and could offer various speeding awareness courses and even a short prison sentence to reduce the ban length, but confirmed that this 'simply wasn't an option for May', who surprisingly has a 'string of serious motoring convictions'.
'This is now the sixth occasion Mr. May has appeared in court in relation to serious motoring offences. His most recent conviction prior to this was a £300 fine and six penalty points for joy riding a Sierra Cosworth in Bishop's Stortford Sainsbury's car-park', said Judge Lord Matthews.
Arriving at BBC's London headquarters in a black taxi, the shamed presenter immediately expressed his concerns after realising that 95% of work on the show 'requires some kind of driving', and that the producers may not look upon him favourably for a contract renewal now he isn't able to fulfil that simple requirement. 'It was me who pressured the guys into nicknaming me Captain Slow', admitted May. 'It's just a front to cover my previous driving convictions and dirty obsession with reckless driving and dangerous speed'.
When asked about his arrest, he added, 'Jezza reckons that if you drive past a speed camera doing over 150, you'll be going "too fast" for the camera to register your numberplate. I was trying to prove the big oaf wrong. And I did'.