The Met Police has defended a new recruitment advertising campaign which targets alcoholics, divorcees, misfits, mavericks and veterans of unpopular military campaigns that the public didn't really understand.
In an unprecedented campaign, adverts have appeared on the side of can of Tenants Extra, on notice boards in reception at firms of family lawyers and divorce courts and psychiatrists have been recruited to recommend any patients displaying signs of autism, obsession or post traumatic stress disorder.
"We particularly welcome applications from the maverick community, who are under represented in the Metropolitan Police," said chief commissioner Bernard Hogan-Howe, "If your marriage is on the rocks, if you have a drink problem and if you have got a hunch, my message to you is this. We will find you and we will hire you."
Each maverick may be given a side kick who will be able to cover the maverick's arse in a variety of ways. The side kicks have been trained to make up alibis, do the paperwork, accompany the maverick to the pub and assist in interrogations.
"In the past the safe copper who filled in paper work, turned up to do a 9 to 5, and didn't sleep in his car in a puddle of vomit whilst starring at pictures of old loved ones, where exactly what the MET were looking for" explained head of HR Lucy Thorton, "But we all know such pen pushers are there to make us look good, the acceptable face of modern policing, but goddammit we need results."